But holy fucking shit, y’all. I have been blown away by the generosity that the community around me has shown since I took a little tumble in December. And I’m not just talking about those of you who have chipped in to help me with the medical bills, physical therapy, and bought those ridiculous pens to help me get back in the tunnel. Well, I am talking about you, but not just the money part. I’m talking about every single person, who, in one way or another, took a few moments out of their busy days to hear me out. Whether your way of doing so was clicking the “Chip In” button, visit the office at Skydive Elsinore, shoot me a text, give me a call, or just post up next to me on a picnic table to hear what was happening, I see it. And I appreciate all of you more than you’ll ever know.

I’m a big believer in that the positive energy you put out there will come back full circle, and it has. And for each and every one of you, it will, if it hasn’t already.

Today is a milestone of sorts. Since December 11, I haven’t done much as it pertains to skydiving, with the exception of putting on events at the Skydive Elsinore that I wanted desperately to participate in. Today, however, I fly in the tunnel for the first time since my accident. I have spent the past three weeks in physical therapy a couple times a week, and at my session on Friday, my super sweet physical therapist said “yeah, you could probably think about getting in the tunnel next week.”

Music to my ears, peeps.

So yeah, today is awesome for me of course, but today is more about you guys. I couldn’t do what I do when I’m at “work” if you didn’t jump here. I couldn’t do what I do on my days off (read: side-hustle days for 3Ring Media and super special couple time with the boy) if you weren’t in need of some kind of service that 3Ring Media can offer. I would still write here if it was only my mom and my boyfriend that read this blog, but the community of readers here is spectacular, and I couldn’t foster those relationships if there weren’t any people to have relationships with.

So today, I thank you. All of you. For being part of my life, in whatever capacity you are a part of it. I wouldn’t be here without you. Seriously.

On a lighter note, obviously I’ll try to post video of my tunnel session tonight. I’ve been visualizing greatness like a madman, and I’m thinking that my time off may have been exactly what I needed to lose the bad flying habits I brought with me here. Today is a clean slate for my skydiving career.

Hearts, sparkles, rainbows and unicorns, peeps. Lots of that.

And in case you were wondering what kind of awesome 4-way has been filling my dreams, this is what I’m talking about. Holy. Shit.

Let me explain.

Around dinner time on Valentine’s Day, after a couple glasses of wine, I got the bright idea to change my relationship status from blank (the boy and I aren’t Facebook official) to engaged. Within seconds, I’m not kidding, SECONDS, there were 14 likes and a handful of comments. This was going to be awesome or horrible.

I don’t comment. I just stare in disbelief at my phone as it explodes and the battery starts to drain because of all the Facebook notifications.

We go out to dinner, and my friend Brandi is in town from Florida. We’re celebrating her first skydive, and it turns out that she has a ring on from her mom. A cool little “quarter carat for a quarter life” gift, and I ask her if I can borrow it. Barry and I take a cheesy ass picture with our hands all intertwined in newly-fake-engaged bliss and post it. If you had been at the table with us, you’d know that we are peeing our pants and the boy is convulsing because he’s laughing so hard as he’s kissing my cheek.

Hysterical laughter happening here. I can't even stand it.

We go through the rest of the meal enjoying each other’s company, and see a car with a Nevada license plate parked next to us. So we take another picture by the license plate. More comments. More likes. People asking if we’re going to Vegas.

LET'S DO THIS!

At this point I just want to call the whole thing off. I have cold feet about our fake engagement. I feel bad that so many people are happy and celebrating something that we just don’t plan on doing.

Here’s the thing. My parents are happily married. They have been for 30+ years. All I’ve ever wanted is to have the kind of love that they have. They’re best friends, lovers, and amazing parents. My one goal in life, despite what I’ve wanted for myself professionally, is to find a love like they have.

And I have found that kind of love.

The boy is everything I could want in a boyfriend/husband/partner/best friend (or whatever label you want to put on it). He is my best friend, my rock, my knight in shining armor, all of that. And we’ve talked about it. If he wanted to ask me to marry him, I’d say yes. And that he could throw a life saver or an onion ring on my finger and I’d be just fine with that. I’ve known that since we first started dating. But we also talked about how we don’t need the whole procedure to make this work. He can sign my logbook and that’s as official as I need it to be.

Now that is my kind of ring!

I’m not opposed to it in the sense that I think marriage is a joke, necessarily, I’ll give the marriage thing the benefit of the doubt on this one (that really is a different conversation for another day). I appreciate couples that have amazing relationships, and I know a lot of people who are, or appear to be, happy in their marriages. I’ve also seen the act of getting married ruin a perfectly good non-married relationship. Like a switch goes on and everything changes. That’s how it was with the boy’s first marriage. He’s experienced it first hand. And to be honest with you, I think the reason we work, the reason we’re so good together and so happy and so sparkly and unicorn-ey and amazing together is because we don’t label it. For the sake of talking, yes, he’s my boyfriend. But seriously, guys, we’ve already talked about being married. We’re kind of already married in our heads, in that we’re totally and completely batshit crazy in love with each other and committed to making that work.

I’m not interested in taking the chance of something going horribly wrong if we made it legally legit. I’m usually not afraid of change, in fact, I’m a huge advocate for change, but in this case, if it ain’t broke (and it isn’t), I don’t want to “fix” it. We have an incredible relationship, and if you have met us and seen us together, you probably want to puke in your mouth because we’re ridiculously adorable together.

And that’s just it. To us, the marriage thing is just a label. A piece of paper. I don’t want to piss anyone off because they think I’m mocking people who get all excited about marriage and the ceremony and everything that comes with it. But, I also feel like I’m being judged because we are perfectly happy together without rings and certificates and ceremonies.

I realize I’m an odd duck. I’ve never visualized my perfect dream wedding. I’ve always said if I get married, it will be on a beach or outside somewhere and people better not be dressing up because I sure as shit won’t be wearing a dress. I don’t want to have kids and I don’t hear my biological clock ticking loudly in the background of this happy relationship I’m in. I’m strange. So be it.

I also know that things change. Sometimes, out of nowhere, people who have been together for awhile with no intention of marrying get married. I’m not saying it won’t happen someday. I also know that I’ve cried wolf on getting engaged so if it ever DOES happen, there will be five people that give a shit and the rest of you will think I’m joking again. And while I’d love to think that everyone would be happy and excited and show that enthusiasm for us if that’s the route we ended up taking, I know that the Great Valentine’s Day Hoax of 2012 has ruined that reaction for a lot of people. I get it.

So, or those of you who ARE friends with one or both of us on Facebook and were part of the whole thing, I apologize if us posting that we were engaged and then saying we weren’t offended you in some way. My friend Becky is pretty wise, and when I asked her why it would piss people off, she laid it out pretty clearly for me:

People who love and care about you guys see you two always talking about/showing how happy you are together. People want to believe that love stories like yours end in marriage. And when you post that you’re engaged and don’t make it obvious that it’s a joke right away and people get all excited for you and then you’re all like “jk weirdos, obviously you dont’ know us at all” it makes people 1. feel stupid 2. feel angry that you take the issue of engagement/marriage as such a joke when many of them believe in it strongly and 3. feel annoyed that you guys think it’s funny that people “don’t know you very well”

I did the same thing on April Fool’s Day and nobody was pissed when it wasn’t true. So I’m all “why the hell is everyone mad because it’s on Valentine’s Day – you know he wouldn’t propose on Valentine’s Day.” Becky pointed out that April Fools was obvious (okay, but honestly, him proposing at all is more likely on April Fool’s than Valentine’s Day but I digress) and that this was after we moved to Elsinore.

…and you were still happy and sparkly back then, but it wasn’t like the gold medal glitter shower celebration parade from the unicorn and teddy bear happiness olympics you seem to be living now. For those playing along at home, it seems like maybe you guys finally feel “settled” somewhere. So i can see how many feel it is a reasonable next step.

Touche, Becky, touche.

At the end of the day, I know this: I love him very, very, very much. More than I’ve ever thought I was capable of loving. I love our friends that know us and know that it was fake and laughed about it because they know us very, very well. I apologize to our friends that didn’t know it was a joke, got excited, and then probably felt like we were complete assholes for claiming “you should have known better.” I love my parents for understanding our relationship and not pressuring us to get married and squeeze out some grandchildren. They know that’s not how we roll.

Love is a funny thing. And it’s most certainly different for everyone who experiences it. And while our fairytale may not end the way little girls all over the world dream of, I certainly couldn’t have dreamed up a better life for myself, or for us.

For the married peeps out there, are we total assholes? What is the secret to making your marriage work? For the non-wed folks out there, or people in happy relationships with no desire to marry, same question – what do you do to keep things working and amazing?

And how many of you have de-friended me on Facebook because of this? Be honest.

I’ve been thinking about  a redesign for awhile. I was rocking a tumblr for 3Ring Media for a bit. Then I kinda forgot about it. I wanted to start a food blog but, to be honest, I don’t have the time, equipment, or money to do anything extravagant like some of my awesome foodblogger or food photographer friends. I wanted something with more graphics, the capability to have a sweet portfolio, and something that wasn’t just straight up blog action. With this new layout, I can toy around with promoting 3Ring a little bit better, and keep the Unfiltered blog content here as well, since that’s where all of my Google juice comes from.

This is a work in progress, as I’m getting back into Photoshop and tinkering with WordPress and code and formatting stuff. Basically, I’m rolling the 3Ring tumblr page, all things Unfiltered and Instagram, which I use primarily to take pictures of the dog and food, into one happy place on the internet.

Thanks for being here – if I’m not mistaken, this is redesign number three.

Mad love to Jamie and Nicole at Shatterboxx, it was an honor and a pleasure rockin’ my Shatterboxx Thesis theme – where Sydney: Unfiltered was born in 2009.

Cheers to a new look for a new year!

And, because this is a work in progress, if you notice anything funky, let me know. I know there are a bunch of old blog posts that don’t have the featured image set up, but besides that, is there anything wonky? Anything you see that looks inconsistent? Keep in mind I’m not a designer by any means, so be easy on those kind of critiques, but let me know what you think!

I wrote about loyalty to your employer almost a year ago to the day, after my first day at WCG in Austin. In that post, I gave three tips on how to rock at being loyal while you’re with a company, saying that the whole loyalty thing starts the day you’re hired and ends the day you leave.

I’d like to amend that to say “loyalty starts the day you’re hired, and can continue well beyond the day you leave.”

Allow me to elaborate.

If there’s one thing that I pride myself on, it’s that I pour my heart and soul into everything I do. Sometimes to the point of burnout because when I’m on, I’m on, and there’s really no stopping it. And until something bright and shiny comes along and shows me that I am missing out on a really sweet opportunity to grow, or that I should really should make time for myself and my well being, I’m all yours. That much is true: when you have me, you have me. And when you don’t, and I snap out of the “going balls to the wall” phase, in the instance of employment, I tend to give as much notice as humanly possible, wrap things up in a pretty bow, and present a beautiful document that is essentially “how to be Sydney” at whatever organization I am departing.

In the instance of relationships, it’s pretty much the same, but with less burnout. For the people in my life, especially those in the inner circle – immediate family, boyfriend, best friends – I give 110% to that relationship. I do this with hobbies, I did it with sports growing up… I guess it’s just kinda how I roll.

Back to the employment side, I don’t know if it’s just another wave of “all my friends are leaving for a new position” or if it’s a seasonal thing or what, but I’ve heard a lot of grumbling lately. People that have been with a company for a year, or three, or ten, are experiencing this cold shoulder from people who used to sing their praises. I’m sure it’s not exclusive to my network, but really, what the fuck is up with that?

It’s happened to me. I’d be lying if I said it hadn’t. Maybe you have been in the same scenario: You give this job your EVERYTHING, every fiber of your passion, time, and well-being. You give it your brain power, you strive to make the environment awesome, you bring your A-game to every meeting, every project that you touch, everything. And then one day, it’s just not as awesome as it used to be. Perhaps you stumble across a new opportunity. Or maybe you were actively looking for a new direction, a new way to grow. You let your employer know that you’re considering another opportunity or that you’ve accepted that opportunity. You say “I am happy to help you transition this work the best I can” and you mean it. And all hell breaks loose. Or, conversely, your world goes silent. Nobody talks to you. Maybe a handful of people are excited for you, but you have a hard time distinguishing if they’re excited because you’re not a threat to their world anymore or if they genuinely like you.

Which comes to the two-way street thing. Loyalty to an employer doesn’t end when you quit. Chances are you still like that place, for some reason or another. Maybe it was your first real job. Maybe you had some mentors there. Maybe it’s just the people in general. Whatever it is, chances are you know people who are looking for jobs or for places to go or for people to work with on certain projects. Whatever that company has to offer, you will probably be in a situation someday where someone asks what you think of that company. How they handle your departure could make or break that recommendation.

Disclaimer: For the sake of the rest of this post, I’m using the ultimate awesome employee as an example. This person is on. They get it. They’re rocking the house. They’re well-liked by their peers and colleagues, for the most part, and are a value to the team. They work hard, and they work above and beyond their job description. Then, they decide to move on. To an opportunity they would be stupid to turn down. They give plenty of notice. This decision doesn’t come lightly because there is A LOT that they like about the current job, but they want MORE. That’s who I’m talking about. I’m not talking about some slacker-ass entitled kid who thinks they deserve the world and do little to prove that they do, and then they quit, badmouth everyone in the process and give no notice. I’m talking about the ideal, angelic, advocate of an employee.

That said, think about it.

Scenario A: You’re the awesome employee described in the disclaimer above. When you come to the point where it’s time for you to move onward and upward and take that next step in your career, they handle it with grace. They’re disappointed that you’re leaving but excited for the opportunity for you to grow beyond what they could provide. Maybe they even say “how can we help YOU?”

Scenario B: You’re the awesome employee described in the disclaimer above. When it comes to the point for you to move onward and upward, they turn a shoulder. Now that you aren’t working for them and contributing to the business, they’re done with you. Finish up what you’re working on and we’ll see you later. Thanks but no thanks.

In the case of Scenario B, I get that there may be underlying issues behind the urgency to get said person up and out of there. Perhaps you’re going to a competitor. It makes sense to expedite things, but not to be complete douchecanoes about the person leaving. So, I understand the mechanics behind it.

But really, do you think the person in Scenario A or Scenario B would be more likely to recommend their former employer? Say you used to work at the best pizza shop in town. You decide to leave and take a totally different direction, and now you’re going to be working at a toy store. A colleague at your new job is craving pizza and mentions your old employer in a list of pizza shops. Does hearing the name of the place you used to work leave a bad taste in your mouth? Sure, they may be good at what they do, but does the way you were treated when you left make you want to call up and reminisce with old colleagues or do you want to recommend a different pizza shop?

Loyalty goes beyond who is signing your paycheck and how well you’re doing the job while you’re there. It doesn’t stop when you leave work at the end of the day, and it doesn’t stop when you quit that job. In a world that is largely reliant on word-of-mouth recommendations, be it a college grad looking for that super sweet internship, a brand rep looking for their next firm, or even someone trying to decide where to jump out of a perfectly good airplane, it doesn’t stop once you stop working.

In the event that 3Ring Media ever has employees, I solemnly swear to not be an asshole* to people that decide to leave because they’re chasing their dream. If they are leaving because they are coming from a place of passion for what they do and this next opportunity would be something they’d be stupid to turn down, I can’t be mad at that, because that is how I’ve lived my life since the day I was able to consciously make my own decisions. My first question to them, after asking if there’s anything I can do to make their job better at 3Ring, would be, “What can I do to help you with your next chapter?” and make it crystalfuckingclear that I support them 100%.

People come and go. Some are great employees, some suck the life out of the joint. But at the end of the day, are you keeping an advocate or are you leaving a bad taste in their mouth? Don’t be an asshat. It sucks when great people leave, but it’s in everyone’s best interest to be friendly through it all, and try to maintain the relationships as best you can.

What does loyalty mean to you? What have your experiences been like when you leave a job?

*I’m not saying my former employers were assholes. I’m just swearing that I won’t be one.

Okay, rewind. I’m tired of being squishy. I know by any definition of how fat America is that I’m not obese or anything, but medically speaking, I’m pretty sure I’m close, and to be honest, I’m tired of watching the number on the scale increase. It’s been doing it since I moved to Chicago in 2009. Slowly, but surely, the number is climbing. Maybe it’s all the (bad) food options, maybe it’s the fact that I don’t need to be swimsuit ready at all times because I’m not living on the water in Tampa anymore… maybe it’s a combination of complacency and an overall lack of time management skills, but I’ve had it.

I’m tired of joking that if I lose the weight I want to lose, I’ll have to downsize my skydiving gear, and downsizing is expensive. When I have to get my jumpsuit tailored, that is money I’ll be happy to spend. Or I’ll just fly with a baggy suit. Whatever. If I need a new canopy sooner than I had anticipated, then I need to stop looking at that as a problem and look at it as a measure of success.

I had a moment this past weekend in front of the mirror and I was actually disgusted. Then I watched Extreme Makeover: Weightloss Edition and I figured if a 445 lb woman can lose 180 lbs in a year, I can lose what I want to lose in the time frame I want to lose it in. What’s worse (or better) is that I’ve done it before. I did it when I was 22 and I can do it again.

If you know anything about me I’m pretty hip with the whole “you gotta love yourself and trust yourself before you can love or trust anyone else” mantra. I am confident in my skills as a professional, gaining confidence in my skills as a business owner, a skydiver and a canopy pilot, but when it comes to the whole body image thing, I’m not lovin what I’m seein’.

So, I figured what better way to hold myself accountable than to profess my desperation for my old self right here for the whole world to see.

I work really hard every day at being the best me I can be professionally, as a girlfriend, as a sister, as a daughter and as a friend. And I’d say that compared to where I was the last time I felt comfortable in my own skin, I’ve come a million miles. I use the year I was 23, right before I moved to Chicago, as my “dream self” as far as physical appearance goes. I had a trainer, I was eating right, things were good. I didn’t have my shit together personally as far as school and a career and friends and stuff was concerned, but I looked hot doing what I was doing.

Now, I can say that I’m doing way better at the personal stuff, I’ve successfully started my own company, I’m chasing dreams that are important for me to chase, I’ve got an amazing family (I did back then but still), I’ve got a handful of amazing friends and an incredible man in my life who is 100% supportive of everything I do. But I’ve let the physical side slide. No more.

I want to lose 30 pounds in my “Phase 1″ of my “transformation” to be the best me I can, physically. I’ve never been about the number on the scale as much as I have been about how I feel, but I know that 30 pounds is something I can do and I know that around that number, I feel pretty fucking fantastic.

Now, I’m meeting with a doctor on the 8th to do all the labs and stuff and make sure that I’m doing this the right way. In college, my roommates were all hopped up on diet pills and crazy diets that consisted of only protein shakes and every once in awhile, a solid meal. I dabbled in all of it. But what worked was having a trainer, eating clean, and getting into a sustainable routine. When I go at this by myself, I go balls-to-the-wall and then I burn out. Not this time. I’m young enough to get this shit figured out while I can before I turn into a whale.

So what actually happens in Phase 1 will be up to the doctor, but I’m going into that appointment with goals to lose substantial pounds before we go back to Florida in December. Plenty of time to do it correctly, safely and as healthily as possible.

I don’t ask a lot of the community here but I ask, for the love of all things holy and deep fried, please hold me accountable. I want to blog about this weekly and share my progress and what I’m learning and what is working for me and what isn’t. Please please please get on my ass if I start slacking.

I know this has been a bit of a trend among a few of us lately – so what are you doing to get to where you want to be, physically? I know everyone is different, but what is working for you? Any tools you’d like to share?

I alluded to the company I’m starting, 3Ring Media last Friday. I want to talk about that and why I hadn’t really said anything about it as of yet.

Truth is, I was (am) terrified. So far, my career has been a joyride on a unicorn over a rainbow. I know how hard I’ve worked for what that I’ve accomplished so far, but a lot of it looks like it’s been a piece of cake. And sometimes, it feels like it.

I had the opportunity to talk to one of the gals I graduated from USF with yesterday, and it really opened my eyes. She called me out, saying that I hadn’t been very transparent lately. She has been following my blog, reading all about everything that was going on, and it didn’t all make sense to her until I sent her a novel of an email, catching her up on where I am today.

I was (am) terrified that I’m going to fail. That me being so excited about my future and what it holds will be all for nothing and the two or three people that think I’m batshit crazy for leaving my job in Austin (or at least the ones that told me that to my face, in not so many words) will actually have a leg to stand on and say “I told you so.”

It was so easy (in retrospect) to leave Chicago for a sparkly new world in Austin. But when that world was the polar opposite of what I thought I was signing up for, I got scared.

Not scared like I had screwed up royally, but scared that nobody would understand my next steps. Worse, that I would fall flat on my face.

The opportunity with Chicagoland Skydiving Center is no doubt an amazing one, but I created that opportunity. I said I wanted to handle their marketing and events and social media and god knows what else. Now I do. But why is that scary?

I framed up the move back to Chicago as a total lifestyle change. I framed it up as an opportunity I’d be stupid to turn down. And while both of those are true, in reality, I’m taking a huge risk. I quit a stable 9-5 job that was paying me well. I did this to live a lifestyle that I want. I want to work for me. I want to work on my own terms, make my own rules, and help out people and companies that matter to me.

That’s the thing with the way my life goes, I’ve realized. I have all of these “some day” plans that end up happening really fucking fast. Take SXSW 2009 for example. I said to myself, after a few days of attending panels, “I want to speak at this conference some day.”

That “some day” happened on March 13, 2010. One year later.

When I did my first tandem skydive in 2005 I said to myself “I want to be an instructor some day” and then forgot about it. When I started skydiving again last summer, and after I met the boy and saw how happy he is and what an amazing life he is LIVING, not just doing, but really living, I said “I want to quit my job and skydive some day.” My “some day” on that one was several years out, at least, because I have a lot of expenses. I have student loans, a car payment that I got royally fucked on interest for (I’m paying a bajillion dollars for a Civic Hybrid), and then all of the normal expenses like a cell phone, I need to feed myself, etc.

And then my “some day” plan for skydiving became a reality on January 2nd when I committed to finding a way to make it work. After spending almost a week at Skydive City in Zephyrhills, I remembered how much I love being on the drop zone and how much that wasn’t happening in Austin. So I figured out how much I’d need to make per month to survive, wrote up a job description for what I wanted my role to be at CSC, threw out a number for a monthly retainer and sent it to the owner for his review. And here I am, sitting in the living room writing this post and working.

And I could barely call this work because it’s actually 110% amazing and doesn’t even feel like work because it’s so much FUN and the boy told me that I’ll never have to work another day in my life if I keep doing what I love.

So I’m using the term “work” VERY loosely here.

So while it’s kinda scary and all that, the good news is CSC is, in essence, my first client. While I don’t anticipate having time to take on additional clients at this time, I can. I am operating as Sydney Owen, director of digital and social media at Chicagoland Skydiving Center, as well as “founder” or “CEO, bitch” of 3Ring Media. And while the latter doesn’t mean much yet, I wish I could digitally convey the excitement that washed over me once my LLC package came in the mail.

This is mine. Something that I own. Something that will become a part of me, my story, and my future.

So sorry if the last couple months have been cryptic or confusing. Here’s the real deal. I’m going to document every single second of this journey, so long as you all still find it helpful slash entertaining slash fun to read.

Because if I can do it, you sure as shit can, too.

Since I’m big on avoiding those kinds of what-if situations, I tend to act on opportunities that come my way that will inevitably teach me something, be it about myself or an actual skillset. And while I always prepare myself for the worst and hope for the absolute best, I usually take that leap. I like taking risks. I like it even better when the risk is rewarding. I like it even MORE when the risk is rewarding in ways that I didn’t see coming. I like moving around when I find a city that calls my name and whispers sweet nothings in my ear.

I will stand by the fact that moving to Austin is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Just, not for the reasons I thought it would be.

When I moved here, I had planned on staying here indefinitely. I was still slow to buy all of that stuff for my apartment, still had one foot out the door, but I was just as confident in that decision as I have been in several big ones in my 20′s.

Those being:

• Relocate to Florida to follow my parents (okay I was 19, but 20 shortly after we moved) and take a year off from college to get in-state tuition rates and claim residency in Florida
• Finish up my sophomore year at Valencia CC in Orlando
• Apply to USF in Tampa
• Transfer to the Charley’s in Tampa
• Go to SXSW on my own dime (hello scary expensive as a college senior)
• Move to Chicago for an internship with Weber Shandwick
• Decide to pursue skydiving and get licensed
• Move to Austin for a new job opportunity, better work-life balance and year-round skydiving
• And now, moving back to the Chicago area to do the PR and marketing for Chicagoland Skydiving Center, and focus on starting my own company in the next year or so

I say that Austin was still one of the best decisions I ever made, even though they aren’t for the reasons that I initially moved down here. As I mentioned in my post about me moving back to Chicago, I came here for what would appear to be “better” skydiving, a better work-life balance and a city that had been tugging at my heartstrings since March 2009.

The reasons that this decision is one of the best ones? Let’s run through some of the what-if’s as they pertain to me NOT moving here.

What if I hadn’t moved to Austin?

• I wouldn’t have had a couple months, off and on, of the boy staying with me. We probably wouldn’t have had that time together, and as a result, we wouldn’t be as close as we are now.
• I likely wouldn’t have had Christmas to New Year’s off of work if I was still at my old agency (probably, but not guaranteed, as WCG was closed for that week, I didn’t have to take vacation days) which means I wouldn’t have gone to Skydive City in Zhills and I wouldn’t have been able to immerse my parents in the culture and community that is life at the dropzone
• I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to get to know amazing people like Chuck, Brendan, Joanna, Bob, Erin, Andy, and the rest of the WCG crew.
• I wouldn’t have been introduced to Stash IPA (thanks Kyle and Tim).
• I wouldn’t have been able to experience trick-or-treating Texas-style – or had a bed for my first week here, for that matter (thanks Aaron and Melanie)
• I wouldn’t have realized how much, in this stage in my life, the friends that I left behind in Chicago mean to me, and how much I love the community at CSC
• I wouldn’t have worked myself so hard in November and December, which brought me to the conclusion that I desperately need to carve a career path that is either a) something I’m ridiculously passionate about or b) something I have more control of with regards to hours and work-life balance

Is what I’m about to do risky? Absolutely. Leaving a great salary in a great city with a super awesome network is risky. Leaving benefits offered by an established corporation and purchasing my own is risky. Following my dreams and going after what I love is risky.

There is a chance that I could hate what I’m doing. There is a chance that I could start my own company in the next year or so, and that I couldn’t keep enough income coming in to pay the bills, let alone be profitable. There is a chance that me following my heart will bite me in the ass.

But what if it didn’t?

What are some of the biggest risks you’ve taken? How did that work out for you? Is there anything stewing around in your brain right now that you want to do, but may be afraid to do? What is it? Why are you afraid?

My parents told me I can be whatever I want when I grow up.

This is the underlying theme of my existence since graduating college.

I also read somewhere that the only barrier between you and success is yourself. Or something.

Cue massively inspirational and thought-provoking metaphors, quotes, proverbs and thoughts.

When I started writing as part of the #Reverb10 project in December, I didn’t really consider how much the reflecting and manifesting would change my life. But it did. I have also had my mind totally blown by the likes of Jenny and Jamie recently as I’ve been making some pretty hefty steps towards a major life change.

What I’m about to write is 99% terrifying and 100% the most excited I’ve been about anything in a long time. Yes I’m aware that adds up to more than 100%. No, I’m not worried about that.

If you’ve been a reader here for more than five minutes, you know that skydiving became a huge part of my life last year. It consumed me, as it tends to do with a certain percentage of people that are ballsy enough to jump out of a plane in the first place.

I spend a lot of my time with my head in the clouds. Daydreaming of where I want this road to go. Where I want to be, and more importantly, what is important to me and WHO I want to BE.

My dream life isn’t about riches and picket fences and big houses and snazzy cars. I want more. I want experiences that are rich, challenging, and most importantly, something that I’m absolutely loving and something that inspires me to share that insane energy with the world.

My dream life involves living in/around Chicago at the dropzone during season, doing everything I can to make that place the best dropzone in the country by coordinating bombtastic events and being the smiling face of the sport that I love so much, write my column for Blue Skies Magazine, handle the PR/Marketing stuff for CSC, and jump my face off so I can eventually be an AFF instructor, and live wherever I want in the winter. This is my “someday” plan. Someday, I’ll quit my job in corporate America, start my own LLC and be a skydiving/marketing princess gypsie with a pet unicorn to boot.

And that is exactly what I’ll be doing, starting in February. Just need to find my unicorn.

::jumping and dancing, and by dancing, I mean flailing my body parts in a a wildly odd and strange fashion::

I’ll be working with Chicagoland Skydiving Center for the season (remember that place, my second home this past summer?), and concentrating on another leg of the business, PROskydiving, in the off-season. I’m extremely excited to help them open the new location, help coordinate some awesome camps and events, and help grow their experienced-jumper base. There are a lot of people that come through CSC – and I’d like to see more of them come back and be part of the family.

And yes, you can now say “I told you that planning events at your first job, despite the fact that all you wanted to do was tweet, would someday pay off.” Go ahead, say “I told you so.” I’ll respond with a big, fat, smiley thank you. Your card is in the mail.

Of equal importance, I’ll also be working toward another goal of mine, to get my coach rating and, eventually, my AFF rating so I can be a skydiving instructor. I’d say “hello dream job” but I hardly think of skydiving as work, so I’ll say – “hello dream life!” Much larger than the adrenaline and all that, I want to have the opportunity to teach people how to skydive – and see their lives transform as a result of it. This is something I can do that can change lives. And I’m BEYOND stoked about it.

Obviously I’ll absolutely miss Austin and everyone that has quickly become a mini-family to me since I arrived in October. I’d likely forget someone if I tried to list you all out, but you know who you are. And to my mentors that have been so rock-solid in helping me sort all of this out in the past year – a gigantic thank you. Your votes of confidence mean the world to me.

Is this the worst decision I’ve ever made in the history of my decision making? Maybe. But probably not. I know exactly what I’m “giving up” or “throwing away” by choosing this route. And in return, I know exactly what I’m gaining. My life, my love, my passion, my hobby, my friends, my family and a life that I’m living for me, for my dream, because at the end of the day, I’m the one that I answer to when it’s all said and done. I’m choosing a path that is centered around fun and happiness and perhaps even a little instant gratification (I call it a “sense of possibilities”). But why shouldn’t I pursue exactly what I want when I want it? I’m the only one to blame if this totally sucks. And I’ll be happy to share all of these crazy emotions every step of the way.

So yeah. That’s the next chapter in the life of Sydney. As I said in my first #Reverb10 post, I anticipate my word for 2011 will be Freedom. This is most certainly a step in that direction. Blue skies!

So, below, please find 20 new items that I will complete before I turn 26 in 6 months (minus a day, since my birthday is on the 3rd).

1. Continue to be true to myself, my career goals, and my goals as they pertain to skydiving.
2. Live in a simple fashion – eliminate the clutter.
3. Be a good mentor to someone (I’ve heard I can cross this one off from multiple people but this is one of those things that is on-going).
4. Facilitate an engaging discussion at SXSW 2011 about mentoring.
5. Get to 100 jumps, and if time allows, my coach rating. The coach rating thing is a 2011 goal, but I don’t see why that can’t happen before June.
6. Visit my family at least once between now and June.
7. Stay in touch with my friends and former colleagues in Chicago. (Hi everyone!)
8. Save enough money for a skydiving trip to somewhere cooler, climate-wise, when it’s blazing hot in Austin.
9. Get new contacts.
10. Go to the doctor.
11. Blog more. Explore other areas of PR/Marketing and all things social.
12. Help a student in their job search.
13. Bring great people to WCG.
14. Make time for myself so I can recharge and keep the creative energy at the highest level possible.
15. Stay sane while the boy is on his adventure on the east coast. Set dates to see him while he’s in Chicago next season. Continue to be awesome to and with him and grow as a person. This one should count for 5 points.
16. Keep my car maintained. AKA, get my car in for maintenance.
17. Spend less money on stupid stuff. (See saving money on #8)
18. Commit to a fitness plan that is sustainable. (See also #14)
19. Eat clean. Go big or go home. Stop eating garbage and get back on track. Holidays are over, tubby.
20. Do the right thing. Every time. It might not always make sense, but follow my gut. It’s served me well so far.

What are some things you hope to accomplish in 2011? If you’re working on a similar list of things you want to do during XX year, how is it coming? Are you keeping yourself in check and holding yourself accountable?

I still want to meet Oprah, for the record. So if you can work on that for me, that’d be great.

And I’m keeping the old list up, under the new list. You can see it here.

I don’t know who said that quote but I know I like it. And it’s so freaking true.

As I was driving from Chicago to Austin, I felt like I was seeing my whole summer in flashback mode. Like I was in a movie. Kinda like the opening scenes of “500 Days of Summer.”

I drove away at sunset.

Driving away at sunset... check ya later Hinckley.

And I didn’t cry. Because I knew I was going somewhere that would dramatically change my life for the better. I cried my eyes out on the way to Chicago. Probably off and on for a good hour. And then again when quirky songs would come on. I didn’t cry on my way to Austin, not once.

Twenty-two hours on the road is great for thinking. For evaluating. For remembering.

I remember driving home from my first jump course that Friday night. Something had changed. Something amazing. But I didn’t know what that was. I felt at ease. I had no idea what this summer would bring. Not a clue. He’ll tell me later that he knew I was into him that Friday night, that I was giving him googley eyes. I’ll deny that till the day I die.

I remember telling my instant-BFF at the dropzone that I had a big fat crush on him. I also remember her telling me that everyone falls for their instructors. The hero complex. All that. Guilty as charged.

But this was different.

I remember being so damn frustrated that I couldn’t orbit. I was supposed to be flying around him on my graduation jump. I was having fun, yes, because every skydive is fun, but I wasn’t going anywhere. I wasn’t side-sliding. I was just falling. And it was frustrating. I remember him motioning for me to “come here” in freefall. Usually that meant for me to fly to him, he’d tap me on the head “good job” and then I’d turn away and track until pull time.

This time was different.

He motioned for me to “come here” and then pulled me in towards him. And he kissed me. At first I thought I was dreaming. That I’d wake up in the Otter and the yellow light would come on for the door. I thought, surely, this doesn’t mean anything. There is a lot of kissing in skydiving.

Our first kiss, his first indication that he was interested in me, was in freefall, plummeting towards the earth at 120 miles per hour on my graduation jump.

You, come here, now.

Re-read that. I’m totally serious.

I was, quite literally, on cloud nine for the rest of that afternoon. But I kept my cool. Lots of people kiss in skydiving. I thought to myself: I’m new, this is just something people do.

Don’t get all worked up, it’s probably nothing.

But it was something. He kissed me again that night at the bonfire. A-License stamp on my forehead and everything. This was something.

This is something.

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. In a past life, I’d argue that absence makes you freak the hell out, over-analyze everything, and act like something crazy, not your normal self. This time around, it’s neither, really. Okay, so I have my moments where I’m shaking my fists in the air all “WHAT DOES THIS MEEEEEAN?!?” but for the most part, I’m pretty impressed with how well I’ve dealt with the being apart thing.

Every year, there’s this mass of “I’m so thankful” posts from the blogging community where we all bullet out what we’re thankful for, make lists, or write some beautiful masterpiece baring our souls about what is important to us this year.

This year, I’m thankful for two things (beyond the standard family, friends, good health). Skydiving and, well, him. Skydiving (and this dude that I’m batshit crazy in love with) openend up my eyes to a lot of things this summer, most of which were beyond the actual act of skydiving.

Life-evaluation type stuff. Like new opportunities with my career, new ways of thinking about life and philosophies and all that jazz (still reading Total Freedom by J. Krishnamurti) and learning that I can (and will) do anything I set my mind to.

Most importantly, he’s helped me realize that I am capable of love that isn’t complicated, that doesn’t pass judgement, that is accepting, and, at the end of the day, no matter where we end up, will still exist because it is real.

How could I not be thankful for that?

Okay so tell me, what are you thankful for?