If you’ve been paying attention at all this week, it’s obvious that I was having a teensy crisis of sorts.

I’m blaming my parents. Seriously.

For the past (almost) 14 days, my parents have been selfishly galavanting around the glaciers of Alaska, instead of waiting by the phone for me to call them when I have a minor mid-twenties-semi-crisis-but-n0t-really moment. Clearly they forgot to take their ginkgo biloba and also forgot that their world should revolve around their first born’s world. HELLOOOOOO, we’ve been playing this game for 25 years now!

I’m kidding. Really. Kinda.

But in all seriousness, please don’t worry.

I’d like to shout out (anonymously, for fear that every single 20-something who ever has a problem would soon bombard my wonderful people in an attempt to regain their sanity) to the people that have listened to me sort this all out. Have you ever been on a really awesome rollercoaster? One with 8,000 loop-dee-loops and at least 234 hills? If you’re one of the people I’m saying thank you to, then yes, you have, and it’s like you couldn’t escape it or get your seatbelt off because just when you thought I was done pestering you for advice or 30 minutes to chat, I’d come back having done a complete 180 and push that green button that sends you back around for another lap around the track. Deep breath, that was a long sentence. You guys are troopers. I mean it.

I’d also like to shout out (generally) to the #u30pro group for having a really awesome chat last night. It was so awesome to hear about everyone else’s experiences in this little stage of their lives – and funny thing is, we all lived to talk about it! There’s hope!

So, with that being said – let the sparkles, rainbows, blue skies and rays of sunshine continue to beam from my ridiculously happy (and sunburned) face. I’m blessed to have a community that is in-tune with where I’m at, where I’m going and where I want to end up some day. And for all of you who have had to witness this little patch in person, let’s all hug and high five, okay?

Mom and Dad on the other hand… I have a bone to pick with you.

And for those of you that haven’t seen it – I believe nearly 14 days of not calling my parents on my walk into work is responsible for this mess. Read up on it here. And yes, I know I’m not 7-12 but it totally applies, OKAY?

More and more, we’re hearing that everyone wants a viral video. From clients with launches, friends doing stupid stuff, people on the street, talented singer/actors/stuntmen (you get where I’m going) – to have a video get tons and tons of views is increasingly on our list of “things we want.”

Let me stand up and say you can’t make a viral video. A video GOES viral.

Case in point – the sixth grader who does his rendition of Lady Gaga’s “Paparazzi” on the piano.

When I linked to this yesterday, it had 1.5 million views. It was posted on April 28. I just walked past the intern pit, heard they were listening, and this morning it has over 8 MILLION views.

That, my friends is viral.

So, what can we learn from this?

1. The videos must be timely. This video was released at a time when Lady Gaga is SO HOT right now. Seeing anyone do a cover is usually a pretty awesome time, but when you get a sixth grader on piano with Bieber hair – it’s incredible. Think about what’s hot in pop culture right now – if people can connect to it, if it’s something that’s important in society RIGHT NOW, then your chances of getting more views are probably better.
2. Videos (typically) that go viral aren’t over-produced. This is clearly shot with a flip cam. At a school talent show. Nothing crazy – just a good ole “I was there and thought this was cool and you should too” type of video.
3. The content is king. This kid is talented. Clearly. He has Bieber hair and he’s singing Lady GaGa – there is nothing that isn’t awesome about this video. Similar to #1 – it has to be relevant, timely, and something that will make you want to watch it over and over.
4. You have to want to pass it to your friends. What makes a video go viral? The “omg you have to see this” factor. This whole video has that. Other videos that have gone viral have it too. Maybe not the whole thing, but there’s that one unexpected moment that is TOTALLY hilarious, shocking, heart-wrenching, or otherwise incredible that makes you say “Dude, you have to see this. Just wait for it. Wait for it. BAM! There it is!”

Want some other examples of videos that went viral? Check out these:

Iggy the Cat investigates the iPad

Telephone Remake (in Afghanistan)

On the Rocks – Bad Romance

…notice a trend?

So, have you had any luck with your videos going viral? Share below! If not, do you have any tips?

Quit your day job.

Leave the 9-5.

Get out of your cubicle/office/four walls of whatever organization you work with.

Live the free life! Bounce from coffee shop to coffee shop, bookstore to bookstore, library to library!

Be free!

Be an entrepreneur.

SHUT UP.

Seriously – I’m over it. Passion is not limited to entrepreneurship. Doing good work, enjoying your life, and making a difference is not limited to those who start their own business.

I’m going to speak on behalf of everyone who loves their 9-5 for a good chunk of this post. And sometimes I’m going to jump back in and talk about the things I love specifically because, well, I don’t want to put words in anyone’s mouth.

We love our 9-5′s (technically 8:30-5:30, but sometimes 7-7, 8-9). And we’re not by any means less passionate about the work that we’re doing or the life that we’re living because we aren’t starting our own businesses or working for ourselves.

I’ll be honest, I’d probably suck at the “working on my own” thing. I’ll be honest (again) and even go so far as to say that I think I’m probably too lazy for that lifestyle. That naps (one of my favorite past times) would get in the way of productivity.

In my 9-5 I have the structure that I obsess over. I also have the creative freedom to rock the house when I’m given a task and given the wings to take it and fly. So please, stop preaching to the masses that we aren’t great leaders-to-be, thinkers, creators or doers because we’re happy with the ladder.

As cool as your story is, leaving a job you hated to do something you love – we (the Ladder-Lovers) did the same. Our paths are not so different from yours. We busted our asses similarly to how you busted yours to get to where you are. We networked (and continue to network) our faces off to get to where we are (and where we’re going), similar to how you did, and how you continue to do.

Your story is awesome because you’re living the dream. Our stories are awesome for the same reason. Where your story differs is that you get jazzed about doing your own thing. We, well, I get jazzed about thinking about how I started at my current employer as an intern, and I look forward to learning from everyone that works here as I move through (or up, whatever) the ladder that everyone has deemed evil.

The hours we keep and the location of where we do work does not define what we consider to be passion for the work we are doing.

I know people that study improv on the side to enhance their ability to tell a story. I, personally, am getting certified to jump out of planes because I am an adrenaline junkie and think REALLY clearly right before I jump out at 14,000 feet above ground. I know people that play instruments, do open mic night, rock at karaoke, run marathons, and scuba dive for an extra boost in the passion that they have for life.

So please, for the love, stop telling the world that the true path to passion is breaking the 9-5 mold.

Passion is not limited to entrepreneurship.

And what the definition of entrepreneur could be another post in itself. I’d like to think that we (the Ladder-Lovers) have a little bit of that entrepreneurial spirit.

An entrepreneurial mindset can be described as a group of personal dispositions, also known as entrepreneurial spirit, which lead to the innovative practice of identifying and/or creating opportunities, then acting to manifest those opportunities in a productive way. -Wikipedia (I know, I know, don’t cite Wikipedia for school papers, but we aren’t in school and I like this definition)

So, we’ve talked about how passion is different for everybody – and that it doesn’t even necessarily apply to your career (side note – read this and this - spot-freakin-on)… What do you think? Do you work 9-5 and love it? Are you an entrepreneur who is sick of entrepreneurs talking about how awesome it is to be an entrepreneur?

At the end of the day, if we want to be all kumbayah about it – can’t we all just celebrate the fact that we’ve found something to be passionate about? Shouldn’t passionate people recognize and appreciate and celebrate other passionate folks?

Can we come up with another word for passion? Please?

Seriously.

I don’t even know where to begin this post because frankly, I have four drafts that are all touching on different parts of the conference, the new technologies, my interactions with people and the panel I spoke on.

In short – SXSW rewired my brain.

How?

For starters, a lot of the blogs that I was reading before aren’t entertaining to me anymore. I want content. I want to learn something. Not to say that I don’t care about how fabulous your new dress is or how much coffee you drink – but I definitely marked eight blogs in my reader as “read” so I could get to the good stuff.

I say “the good stuff” but right now, I don’t even know what that is. I’m in this grey area where one side is begging for me to keep feeding my brain with interaction and geekery and the other is pulling for me to just shut down. I don’t like it.

But, while I’m trying to decompress, a couple takeaways:

1. Sometimes you just gotta live. I went skydiving on Saturday – against all recommendations that I shouldn’t. Sorry mom. I am very receptive to feedback and I encourage it with open arms and I usually take feedback and just roll with it. Not because I can’t make my own decisions, but usually, the people giving the feedback are way more wise than I am and I’d be stupid not to. On Skydiving Saturday, I did my own thing. And it was fabulous.
   (side note: I’m getting certified this summer if anyone wants to join!)
2. Passion is different to everyone. If I hear one more person define passion as “breaking the mold” or some other catch phrase, I will seriously lose it. At the end of the day, geeks are passionate. And, anyone can be a geek about anything, it’s not just limited to tech and computers and traditional nerdery. Also, passion is not just about quitting your day job. Hell, passion doesn’t even have to be about your job. I happen to be extremely passionate about my job but I’m also passionate about finding new restaurants, skydiving, sushi, meeting people and creating relationships. Passion isn’t just about going against the grain. It’s turning into a word that makes me cringe, instead of making me jump for joy. So everyone slow down with the way we’re saying passion every other word. Use it appropriately. Please.
   (side note – read this and this - spot-freakin-on)
3. Bringing online relationships offline is (still) THE BEST THING EVER. A lot of people have asked me what SXSW is all about. “So is it just a bunch of panels, and stuff?” Yes, but it’s so much more. It’s going to those panels, and striking up a conversation with the person sitting next to you. It’s skipping a panel and talking with people in the hallway instead. It’s finally being able to meet people in your network that you may have been talking to for days, months, weeks, even years, and having a drink with them, face-to-face. It’s reconnecting with people you met last year. All in all: it’s intense.

Like I said, I have four drafts that are floating around about SXSW – so there will be more to come. Tomorrow will be my first real day to myself to decompress and process everything. I anticipate having a bit more clarity after this weekend – and I’ll be interested to see how that plays out.

Have you ever been to a conference or other event, be it SXSW or something else, that just totally rewired the way you think and approach things? Was it good or bad?

One of my biggest takeaways from yesterday’s activities is that we all need to focus on being relevant. What does that mean?

There is a not-so-underlying expectation that there will be a ton of profound, innovative, and earth-shattering thinking happening this weekend. And there is. There are new apps and products and services and technologies being released and buzzed about all over the place. Walking through the exhibition hall here is rejuvenating because there is SO MUCH tech stuff that I’ve fallen behind on I could just squeal with excitement because I have a lot of catching up to do.

I went to Peter’s presentation about how self promotion will save the world yesterday. If you follow me on Twitter, you know that. I have a couple things that I want to touch on here from that panel.

Before yesterday, whenever I would hear about self promotion, I thought of one or two people in our community and I rolled my eyes and kinda wanted to throw up in my mouth a little bit. Our community has been posting about this for literally years now and we all have our different ideas of what is right, what is wrong, and what is too much and who should do it more because they really rock and they don’t give themselves enough credit.

I tweeted out a bunch of one-liners from Peter’s panel. Taken out of context, they’re common sense.

They are common sense to everyone who is already here. They are common sense to those of us that know about self-promotion. They are common sense to those of us who are familiar with promoting others, who are in this industry and who have adopted the social media way of life in it’s earliest stages.

They may not be, however, common sense to someone who just logged in to Twitter for the first time. They may not be common sense to someone who doesn’t “get it” all the way but really, really wants to. They may not be common sense to a large part of my audience: college students who are looking to find a way to set themselves apart from the pack. THAT is why I was tweeting one-liners from Peter’s panel all about stuff that the previously mentioned groups already know everything about. That is why I’m speaking on a panel today. That is why being relevant is important.

The saying goes “you can’t please everybody” and yesterday that was crystal clear. The senior executives that I work with already know that being polite in business practices is important. The people that I met at SXSW last year already know that you shouldn’t tweet what you don’t want to be blasted anywhere and everywhere.

The students that I’m mentoring that are back home watching my stream might not have heard all of the information that was presented yesterday. Maybe they had. But, the way that I choose to use social media is this: I am here to learn, and to help others learn. And to communicate with people that I wouldn’t otherwise be able to communicate with on a daily basis. That’s the glory of this space – you can use it however you wish. That’s why I am so incredibly passionate about the power of the space, the power of blogging and the power of tweeting (or insert-name-of-the-next-platform-here) from a presentation that is about a subject that I am incredibly in tune with.

And the day that I’m not passionate about it anymore is the day that I stop. Until then, I ask that we all understand that my audience is not just seasoned pros and digital natives. There are a lot of newbies that come here looking for a friendly face to bring the jargon down a notch.

Though we can’t please everyone – we certainly can try to find a balance. And that’s something I’m working on. Trying to find a balance of personal stories and professional ones. I’m far too junior in my knowledge to have a loud voice in strictly-PR-related blogging. But I’m also trying to build myself some street cred so I need to dial back a little bit on the blogging about boys and only boys.

What does being relevant mean to you? How do you find a way to balance your writing for your audience?

Yesterday, much to my surprise, Elisa, author of Ophelia’s Webb, posted a little diddy about me and my blog as part of her #BlogCrush series. You can read the post here.

I read it, tweeted about it with some awesomesauce and CAPS LOCK about how compliments are SOOOO expensive and then I took a minute to click on every single link that was included in the post. There were a lot. I took a little trip down memory lane and it was really fun to read.

Things have changed here a lot since I relaunched in October. Formerly Sydney Owen on: New Media, Sydney: Unfiltered is a bit more natural for me to write. I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again, I kinda wanted to take a step back from the “I’m-an-expert-on-SM-and-PR-even-though-I-haven’t-graduated-yet” because one, I’m most definitely not an expert (an afficionado, yes, but not an expert) and two, I wanted to be able to tackle more personal topics as well.  I think it’s working. Kinda.

I wanted to take some time to pause on the dating posts and reflect on the posts that I wrote that were forecasting what my life would be like in Chicago. This one, “I’m Chicago Bound”, touches on what everyone in Tampa said about Chicago when I announced that I was moving after finals this summer.

So, on with the reflection.

“You’ll be back. Chicago is too cold.” I’d like to state for the record that it’s cold here, yes. But, Chicagoans, it’s not nearly as bad as I had anticipated it being (yet). I know there’s more to come. But I’m acclimating juuuust fine. (Thanks to a bombass coat from mom and dad and a scarf/glove set from the sister…. otherwise, I’d be here with my “Florida Winter” coat, aka, a Mountain Hardwear fleece. That definitely wouldn’t cut it.)

“Chicago is too expensive.” Kinda right on that one, if you’re blind. Yes, there are places that cost a pretty penny. But there are also places that don’t. I happen to know ALL ABOUT the ones that don’t. You can survive here. It’s possible. Is it more expensive than Florida? Of course it is, do you KNOW what kind of taxes they have here? High ones. But is it doable? Abso-freaking-lutely.

In this post, which reflects on how the new and shiny has worn off of the initial decision to move to Chicago (written in April), I set up a couple different scenarios for how I thought things were going to go down before/during/after my internship.

Here, for your perusal, are the scenarios I outlined:

Perfect Scenario:
I move to Chicago with all of my furniture and find a fabulous apartment in a great neighborhood and I magically sell my car that I’m upside down in. I work like a madman, taking in as much as humanly possible, learning everything from everyone, and after the eight weeks that are required before you’re eligible for a full-time position, one is created by the PR Gods above and I’m working with people that are brilliant in a department that utilizes my talents. I make enough money to keep the apartment I picked out, and I don’t have to use my credit cards that I just paid off. I know that I’ll be in this position for awhile, so I go ahead and take all of the necessary steps to become a citizen of the state of Illinois. Oh, and my blood isn’t too thin from living in Florida sunshine for four years.

Sunshine and roses. And unicorns. And I still don’t have an Illinois drivers license. I can’t part with my Florida one.

Almost Perfect Scenario:
I move to Chicago like mentioned above, but maybe my perfect apartment isn’t available anymore, so I find something almost as fabulous (no biggie). I still work like crazy, but maybe the PR Gods want me to experience the whole 16-weeks of intern-dom and theeeen there’s a position open for me to pursue. I do, and I get that dream position and I start my career with a bang. It’s a little chilly, but I’ll get a jacket and be fine. (My dad would tell me to suck it up.)

Pretty darn close. And FTR, Dad has never told me to suck it up. He tells me I’m crazy for moving to a place with sub-zero temperatures.

Probable Scenario:
I move to Chicago with everything I can fit in my car, but leave my stuff at home for the time being. I have a colleague who said I can store my stuff at her house, so I do that, at least until I know what is going on with my life after the program. Sixteen weeks fly by, and I’m gaining a ton of knowledge and offering some of my insights as well. After the 16 weeks, I’m offered a full-time position which I graciously accept. I ship my stuff up to myself, figure out what will fit in my apartment and go from there. Watch out windy city – I’m ready!

Pretty darn close, minus the keeping my stuff from my house in Florida and shipping it up here.

Borderline Nightmare (but okay in the end) Scenario:
I get an apartment that’s alright. I can live with alright. The internship goes well, but due to the “economic stress” (which I think is total, complete BS by the way), there are no positions available at this firm. Another agency has another intern program I can go through while I figure it out. Or maybe the internship goes as well as it does in the other scenarios but maybe the weather really kills me.

Spot on about the apartment. Not so much about the job. Or the weather.

Nightmare situation:
My mediocre apartment is great for a week, until I realize there is a serious ____ infestation. And I can’t get a hold of my landlord. And the hot water goes out. And I still can’t get a hold of the landlord. So now I’m infested and freezing in the shower. The internship is awesome, but I learn that I hate agency PR, the whole reason I moved to Chicago. There aren’t any jobs – like, I can’t even wait tables while I wait for an opportunity in PR. Then I get evicted, not because I can’t pay, but because my building is being rezoned into a playground. Or a jail. And then a meteor strikes the Lake and there is a great flood and it doesn’t matter because I’m drowning.

This one makes me giggle.

So which one happened? Pretty much the “perfect” scenario, with a bit of “probable” and “borderline nightmare” sprinkled on top. Here’s how it actually went down:

The REAL Scenario:
I move to Chicago with everything I can fit in my car, and sell the rest. Everything. All of it. I get an apartment that’s alright. The windows are permanently icy in the winter (so far) but it’s cute because I pretend I’m in an igloo. I become one with my igloo-residing-ancestors. Wait. I don’t have any of those. Anyway… I work like a madman, taking in as much as humanly possible, learning everything from everyone, and after the eight weeks that are required before you’re eligible for a full-time position, one is offered to me which I graciously accept. I go home for graduation, come back and I’m working with people that are brilliant in a department that utilizes my talents, and I’m learning A TON, EVERY SINGLE FREAKING DAY. And I love my job. I make enough money to keep the apartment I picked out, and though my lifestyle may not be fancy, I’m living. So that’s good. Oh, and I LOVE MY JOB. And I make some kickass friends. And the weather doesn’t scare me off (yet).

Take some time to read some of your old blog posts. If you’ve had a life-changing moment, week, month, year – read some of the posts before you even knew that your life could change. Then read some directly after you found out.

Did you do it?

Now, how has your writing style changed? How has your life changed? How have YOU changed, as a person, a professional, a friend?

Happy New Year everyone!

Here’s a quick look at what I’m looking forward to for 2010:

• Cruise in January - I haven’t been on an actual vacation since 2007, so this is going to be well-deserved and VERY relaxing/awesome/partycentral/educational. My dad has organized a group of 50+ 60-somethings and I’ll be teaching them how to use Facebook to stay in touch with each other and with their grandkids, etc. Should be a blast!
• SXSW in March – I’ll be speaking with four fabulous Gen-Y’ers about why we want to work “with” you vs. working “for” you on Monday during the interactive portion of the conference. I’m also excited to catch up with some great people like Aaron while I’m down there. This will be a super week for me, as SXSW09 is where things really cranked up for me and started getting really awesome.
• My 25th Birthday – June 3rd marks my quarter-century mark on this planet. Location of the celebration is yet to be determined – but in the mean time, I am working on my list of 25 things I want to do while I’m 25 – so if you have any suggestions, let me know!
• My one-year anniversary with Chicago, and with Weber – so much has happened in the past 6 months since I moved here – I’ll be excited to see where I am 6 months from now, both personally and professionally.
• Meeting more amazing people - 2009 was a networking sensation – I can’t wait to meet more smart people in 2010! If you’re ever in the Chicago area and want to grab coffee – you know how to reach me. I’d love to meet you!
• Continuing to mentor students – I’ve had a blast mentoring students from USF and all over the country as I’ve made this transition from college to corporate. I’ll be writing about that more in the new year as some of the students I’m mentoring graduated in December and some are set to graduate this spring. If you’re a college student and/or a recent grad – is there anything you’d like for me to write about specifically? I’m open to suggestions and excited to help you with your journey!

Thanks for being here, it’s been a crazy ride so far. Looking forward to connecting with all of you more and I’m excited to see what 2010 has in store!

What are you looking forward to in 2010?

After sprinting from terminal B to terminal A in the Atlanta airport so I didn’t miss my connection to Orlando, it dawned on me. This flight could have WiFi. My flight from Chicago to Atlanta didn’t, but this one might. I saw little teasing banners all the way down the jet bridge. “Check out gogo,” one taunted. “WiFi now onboard,” another boasted.

Okay, I have been anxiously waiting the day when I could blog from 35,000+ feet and it has FINALLY ARRIVED. I’ve been saving gogoinflight codes for months, patiently biding my traveler time until I would have the opportunity to tweet “I’m so high” and then wonder if everyone thinks I do drugs. I don’t. I just want to tweet I’m so high because, well, I’m THOUSANDS of feet above the Earth!

I’d like to thank Gini Dietrich for the gogo code she tweeted earlier this month – it worked, and I’m blogging, for free, up high.

Clearly I’m ecstatic about this but I am also a little fearful. There isn’t anywhere, but on an airplane, that I can totally disconnect for that period of time. Everywhere else, I’m on. I may choose not to be active sometimes, but on a plane was the only place that I COULDN’T be on. I wonder if I’ll miss that quiet time. Probably not.

But maybe. Because I’ve written the start to some killer posts in the air, and countless drafts that never amounted to anything. But I was writing them in Word, then copying and pasting them over. Didn’t have time (or the opportunity) to get distracted.

For now, I’m totally into it. I imagine as long as online time on a plane is fun, I’ll enjoy it.

And, for the record, can I just say this was the CUTEST flight crew ever? They did the safety instructions to the tune of “Twas the Night Before Christmas” and made it all rhyme-ey and fun. It seriously was the best start to my holiday ever.

Now, if only I could post this before I land. I can’t – because my dad and I have managed to keep me coming home for Christmas a secret, and we’re surprising my mom and sister. By the time you read this, it will have already happened because I don’t want to take the chance on them seeing this post before I get home.

So, WiFi on planes… do you love it or do you hate it? Are you like me and totally stoked that now you can blog your flight away? Are you having mixed emotions like I am?

Okay, for one, I do know how to spell “cats” and the title of this post is not a typo. The title of this post is an acronym for #completeandtotalshitshow, one of my favorite sayings as of late. That being said, on with it.

I have had some pretty epic days that I’m just sure that somebody’s camera crew would be interested in documenting. I don’t watch TV really because I choose to live my life as a sitcom from time to time, and it’s hard to keep up with my own storyline, let alone anything more complicated than Glee or Grey’s Anatomy. So with that being said, yesterday was nothing short of production-worthy.

First of all, my post yesterday could be the most ADD thing I’ve ever created. I’ve been saying recently that my blog is where I dump all of my thoughts that are important to me at the time – and yesterday’s post was a perfect reflection of how SCATTERBRAINED life was in the last 48 hours.

Where did I leave off? Bouncer had left me multiple voicemails and I’m supposed to be ice skating tonight.

Well I got one more voicemail – and ice skating is probably not happening.

WHAT!?!? I know – it’s that crazy over here.

Mondays are nuts in themselves, throw in the holidays, scrambling to get work done before the world shuts down for Christmas, trying to figure out why this grown ass man keeps whining on my voicemail and trying to decipher how “I haven’t been completely honest with you, but I haven’t lied either” could be a good thing, and you’ve got a CATSS (remember what that stands for? Good, you listen).

One more voicemail – this one 1:19 long – he was having a conversation with my recorded self. He was talking about how he didn’t understand why me and The Saint (the guy that’s supposed to take me ice skating looks like a Saints football player, hence, the Saint) were spending so much time talking last night while I was there with him. He didn’t understand why I just left and didn’t want to party until 4am (um because I have a CAREER that is more important? I don’t know, that MIGHT be why) and how he was planning on staying at my house.

REWIND. ::rewinding noise:: He was planning on staying AT MY HOUSE.

This, coming from the guy who asked me out via text, communicated with me ONCE before the party on Sunday (also via text) and then brought me to a party where he continued to not talk to me and I was sitting there all by myself in a room full of people I didn’t know.

I mean, I’m a nice chick – I’ve let many-a-people crash on my couch (I don’t even have one now, so that was pre-Chicago) and I’ve crashed on several in my day. But I KNEW those people. I didn’t just let some stranger who’s sent me four text messages come into my home. Sorry – that’s not how I roll.

AND THEN he has the audacity to say “I know I asked you out via text or whatever, but I’d really like some normal communication.”

So I texted him, apologized for leaving abruptly and to not stress out about the Saint hitting on me, that the Saint saw that I was ALL BY MY AWESOME SELF and was being friendly.

Sydney: 1. Bouncer: -3.

So the other part of this shenanigans – the Saint is texting me how it was nice to meet me and he’s glad I came out last night, blah blah blah. I ask him if he’s still down to play tour guide and then WHAM – out of nowhere, the guy is talking about how he wants to see me in person he can be honest with me because he doesn’t want there to be room for BS in the future. And that he’d call me later to iron out details of the ice-skating date so we could really chat. That his situation is “complicated”. But “not that bad, depending on how you look at it.” And that he wants to “look me in the eyes so I know he’s real.” RED FLAG – RED FLAG! MAYDAY! MAYDAY! ABORT ICE SKATING MISSION!

I say: “what’s the deal? Married? In a relationship? Unhappy? Kids?”

And he says: “I don’t want to tell you bc I’m afraid you’ll think I’m a douche.”

TOO LATE.

Seriously – I love my life. I say this because old-Sydney would have been SO PISSED OFF and then been okay with the fact that this guy’s a dirtbag. Here is how I would have rationalized this: “Oh, well, at least he’s honest enough to be honest now, I mean, that’s gotta say something. And it’s not MY FAULT he’s in an unhappy relationship. He’s SO GREAT for being up front about it now, even if he wasn’t at first.” And cue downward spiral.

New-Sydney said “Thanks, but complicated isn’t my scene. And if you’re in a relationship, or married, or any of the above, then us going ice skating isn’t appropriate. And you know that.”

Am I curious to know exactly whats up? Yes. Of course I am. It will make this story have a glorious ending. But have I grown up since the last guy that I seriously dated that forgot to mention he was married until three months into the relationship? Yes. Not going down that road again.

So, my friends, I may not know how that story ended. But I’m okay with that.

So what’s next, you ask?

I don’t know, maybe the could-be-doctor that rides my bus and works in my building that I ride in the elevator with every day. Hmm. That could turn into my own Grey’s Anatomy.

My question to you all is this: if you’ve gone down the path of meeting someone, they’re not who they claim to be, but they REALLY want to show you that they aren’t a scumbag, do you let them try to show you? Or do you let it go? I’m voting let it go – but I’m open to your opinions.

I’d like to start out by saying I have a date tomorrow. And it’s not with Bouncer.

How is that possible, you ask? Right, because I am chock-full of TOTALBADASSERY.

No but really, I am. Wait – that doesn’t even answer the question. But it kind of does.

I told you last week I was going to the Christmas party at Bouncer’s bar. Where all of the employees would be. And NOBODY ELSE WHO DIDNT WORK THERE. He forgot to mention that part. I imagine that conversation may have gone a bit differently:

Bouncer: “Hey, do you want to come to a Christmas party where you’ll know absolutely nobody and it’s going to be really, really awkward?”

Me: “omg yes, please. Sign me up.” NOT.

So here I am, pretending to enjoy hockey so I don’t look all antisocial on my phone, texting my best friend the play-by-play. Not the best way to start out, but whatever. Everyone starts to show up, I get placed on a team for Jeopardy – with fun topics such as “know your staff” (I don’t) and “know your manager” (I don’t). You can imagine the RIP ROARING GOOD TIME I’m having, right?

As the night progresses, Bouncer actually still has to play bouncer and keep everyone in line. Never stops. I try to relate to that, how I’m always networking, and how I’m never disconnected. I try to make some semblance of a connection. Not happening. I find out that Bouncer does personal security during the day (read: bodyguard) and likes to talk about how much he gets paid for each gig. I can’t fault him for that, because I talk about money ALL THE TIME and what I would do with a million dollars (I’d build a rollercoaster, BTW). And he’s a smoker. Deal breaker. Oh. And did I mention that he never ONCE asked me about anything related to me? I didn’t? Well, he didn’t. Not once. Not an inkling of interest in what I do besides wear Moose pants and enjoy the occasional over-indulgence in vodka. Or beer. Or both (headache).

While Bouncer is playing bouncer, I’m sitting all by my beautiful lonesome surrounded by people who work together, live together, etc, when this BEAUTIFUL man swoops in and is all asking about me and where I’m from and all the things that YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO DO ON A FIRST DATE (or hell, when you first meet someone? lets be serious).

He asked how long Bouncer and I have been together. WHOA WHOA WHOA WAIT. I tell him I met Bouncer last week. This is our “first date”. Nobody has called dibs or anything. Conversation continues.

Long story short – I tell him that I’m not from here. He told me it gets cold here, as EVERYONE AND THEIR MOM does when I say I’m not from here. He asked about my favorite part about Chicago and I told him the architecture tour, but to be honest, IDK because I moved here on a Saturday and went straight to work on Monday, so it’s not like I moved here and had months to explore.

He’s taking me ice skating at Wrigley tomorrow. I think this calls for a happy dance. One – because anyone that’s willing to take me ice skating is in for quite the show (I’ve never done it before) and two, I scored a date with a hottie at a party where I knew NOBODY. A party that had TOTALLY AWKWARD written all over it. A party where I figured there would be two outcomes, both ending in #completeandtotalshitshow. Option A: I’m the life of the party and everyone thinks I’m super-awesome – so I end up dancing on the bar, or something. Or Option B: I feel totally awkward and try to be social and wonderful so I can then become life of the party and end up dancing on the bar which I’ve never done but have always wanted to just to say I did – I’m adding it to my life list, but everyone’s laughing at me, not with me and OMG I FORGOT TO PUNCTUATE.

I’ll have you know I went with Option C (one that I created on the fly): Owner of bar is at party. I’m with a manager. I need to keep it classy (you know, because I don’t want to reflect poorly on Bouncer’s judgment). So I’ll pay more attention to my date’s friend than my original date and wake up to two missed calls and two voicemails (with two minutes between calls) that say the EXACT SAME THING.

Also? This whole scene wouldn’t have been possible if I was in a serious relationship. So all of those posts about me wanting a boyfriend? They can wait. I’m totally LOVING what’s going on right now.

Tankboy – you were right. Arm candy. BUT IT WAS SO FUN.

Disclaimer: this post is SO ADD, sorry if you’re having trouble following.

So, when life gives you lemons – do you make lemonade? Have you ever been stuck in a really awkward situation and then decided “oh to hell with it” and turned it around for the better?