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Sometimes, you don’t need a plan.

September 29th, 2010 | 3 comments | Skydiving, Unfiltered

I’ll be the first to admit, I hate making plans. I’ll also admit that I used to be OBSESSIVE about making them.

Back in the day, I couldn’t function unless I knew exactly what was going to happen in every aspect of my life. It was easier, when I was in college, to behave that way. Especially after I moved to Florida. I had my courses mapped out for two years. I knew what to expect for that part of my day. I had the same day off every week at work, and bartending never changed. Sure, the guests would, but the routine was the same. Right before my boyfriend at the time would fly back to wherever he was coming from, we’d book his next flight down to Florida. I knew when I’d see him next.

I had total control over who and what was in my life at all times, and I had it mapped out pretty much down to the hour.

Looking back, I gag thinking about it.

I wonder how much I would have experienced if I hadn’t been so rigid in my plans. I wonder how many new people I could have met if I had branched out and flown by the seat of my pants for a bit.

This summer has most definitely changed me. I have plans in place, yes, but nothing so totally crazy.

For example, I know that I’ll be at the drop zone every weekend until it gets cold. I need to cram in as much time in the sky as I can before I can’t anymore. I don’t think this is healthy, but that’s another post for another day. I also know that I have to be at work Monday-Friday, during most of the daylight hours. That part’s a given.

What I don’t know, however, and what I’m pretty-much-almost-okay with not knowing, is what happens next for me and my relationships that I’ve developed this summer as a result of skydiving.

A lot of the people that I would consider pretty good friends are going to foreign countries for the off-season. I don’t know if they’ll be back (I mean, I’m sure they would be, but I know me, and if I went to Australia, I probably wouldn’t come back).

I’m in a relationship with someone who doesn’t make plans. Who is the very essence of total freedom. Who has no expenses besides food and shelter and can go wherever he wants, chase the sun, follow the blue skies. This, for obsessive-compulsive-former-planning-addict-version of Sydney, is a challenge. It’s not a challenge in that I want him to change his ways and be with me and only me for the rest of our lives. One, that’s crazy, and two, I would never want him to change. This total freedom thing he’s got going on is one of the driving factors that makes me so crazy about him.

It’s a challenge for me because this relationship is so completely and totally different than anything I’ve ever experienced and for the first time in my semi-serious-could-be-something-awesome relationship history, I’m not freaking out about what happens next. I want him to be happy. And if he’s happy with me, wherever I am, or wherever I end up, then even better.

And people don’t get it. A lot of people are asking what’s next for us. We both say “we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.”

Sometimes you don’t need a plan.

  • http://www.smallhandsbigideas.com Grace Boyle

    I definitely think you don’t need a plan.

    One of my best friends is in town and we were catching up, she musingly commented, “So what’s your five year plan, Gracie?” And I scoffed, laughed and said, “I really don’t have one.”

    I do know that my five year plan involves happiness, love, motivating, challenging work and travel. Those values and experiences are what will be in my life long plan. There is so much that can be up in the air from professional to personal (and not in a bad way) that it’s better to be in the moment.

    To get our ducks in a row, in my opinion, is kind of bullshit. I have friends who laid it all out, the plan, the movement, the job, the life and most of the time that plan felt apart. It’s good to have a vision, but a plan, let it unfold as it’s supposed to and hold onto what’s important to you :) GREAT post!

  • http://chriscruises.wordpress.com/ OrlandoChris

    Yes, that sure is true; sometimes you don’t need a plan.

    Like on a nice Spring day after a hard Winter when nature calls and it’s refreshing to unplug and just do whatever you want to. Or maybe a weekend away to someplace you’ve never been, without a plan. Just take it as it comes . Maybe do a whole vacation that way or even… a whole Summer.

    When that day, that weekend, that week or that Summer is over you can be left with two feelings: “I’m sad it’s over” (because it was so much fun, so rewarding, so wonderful, etc…and dread going back to real life) OR “That was great, now let’s move along” (because I am not 8 years old and am able to differentiate between vacation and real life and know that my real life is pretty dang good)

    You are a gifted, brilliant young lady with the potential to do some pretty amazing things with your life. And (not “but”) no one is totally free. They may think they are but they’re not. You may think they are but they’re not. Your Summer relationship has extended into Fall. If your Summer relationship heads for warmer weather I bet they’ll look back on this Summer as a good one, maybe a GREAT one. The difference between it being good or great might very well be you.

    But the season is over and they move along.

    Even people without a plan are able to keep it all in perspective, if only with general measure.

  • Doniree

    Sometimes what happens when you DON’T plan is way better than what you could’ve planned. Ok, it often is. Also, sometimes the best thing ever is when the Universe laughs in your plans’ face and says – NOPE. Try THIS instead.