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Defining yourself, part two.

August 10th, 2010 | 5 comments | Skydiving, Unfiltered

“I would do anything to reinvent myself.” -some guy at the drop zone, right before he got on the plane.

A couple of weekends ago, I was shooting the shit with my friend John who was at the DZ to repeat his first AFF jump. Coincidently, two of John’s friends showed up to do tandems and we were all sitting around while they were waiting for their call to get on the plane. John was telling his friends about how I hadn’t spent a weekend in Chicago since I did ground school because I had this other life at the DZ, and one of the guys said something about reinventing himself.

I told him that the Sydney at the drop zone is my favorite version of Sydney yet. And there have been many versions. I was looking through my old Facebook photos and ID’ing all the different versions of myself that I’ve seen come and go. There was Sydney the Cheerleader, Sydney the KU Athlete, Sydney the Disney Character, Sydney the Bartender, Sydney the PR Gal and now, most recently, Sydney the Skydiver.

I think it’s safe to say that we all have different versions of ourselves. I know personally, at any one given time, I could be Sydney the Blogger, Sydney the PR Gal, Sydney the Tech Geek, and/or Sydney the Best Friend/Sister/Daughter. Going back to what I was saying before, being “Sydney the Skydiver” requires very little thought – where I can be 100% me – sweatshirt-and-shorts-wearing, barefoot, sarcastic, sailor-mouthed and quick on my feet. I’ll go walk through the fields for four hours to find your main canopy, I’ll make a breakfast run in the morning and I’ll be there all weekend even if I’m not jumping because I love how I can be me, even if I’m stuck on the ground.

I keep a little bit of each version with myself well beyond the shelf life of that version; lessons learned, nuggets of wisdom that are passed on with each phase of my life. Here’s the thing: I’ll always be changing. Duh. I get that. But that was the hardest part of this whole 180 my life has taken this summer. I recognized that things were changing (yay me for being self-aware) but at first, I didn’t know how to handle it. I decided, initially, to apply my “everything must have an answer by EOD” mentality and quickly realized, with the help of my AMAZING mentors, that this shit takes time.

Is it all figured out? No. And it won’t be. And that’s okay. What I have learned about myself is that I’m actually incredibly patient, when I want to be. I like to save my patience for the things that matter, which explains why I have NO patience for assholes, traffic, and waiting in lines. But when it comes to skydiving, relationships and work, I’ve got a lot more patience that I had originally thought.

There is a great little challenge thing going around for #TR30Days. It’s all about a personal revolution, making a bucket list, etc. I love reading this kind of stuff because I think it’s super awesome when people are extra ballsy and put themselves out there. Since for most of you, throwing yourself out of an airplane every weekend isn’t your cup of tea, I’d encourage you to join up with the whole 30-Day Revolution thing, just to see if you can find something that rocks your world as hard as skydiving has rocked mine.

I think I’ve gradually come to a place this summer where I feel like I’m really LIVING every day (and I don’t need to limit myself to just 30 days). It’s been a painful process at times, but with the help of mentors, colleagues, friends, family and a little altitude, I’m starting to feel a little less anxious and a whole lot more put together. Like everything is falling into place.

A big part of that feeling is having a couple people you can call on to get yourself out of your own head. When you know you’re assuming the worst, having a little pity party, or doubting yourself for no good reason. People that put you in your place and tell you to knock it off with the crazy talk. If you find someone (or multiple people) like that, keep them on a short leash – you’ll thank yourself later.

What would you put on your 30-day bucket list? Do you have people that keep you in check? How many different versions of yourself are there?

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  • Ashley

    It's posts like these that remind me why I started skydiving in the first place. Pure and simple for the experience. What it's taught me about who I really am, and what I really want out of life. Sometimes I need that little reminder, as it can be easy to get caught up in things that, in the big picture, really don't matter all that much.

    Thanks for being my constant reminder of that! BESPSL!

  • http://doniree.com/ doniree

    I love things like that too (and love this post) and want to get over my fear of getting in front of a yoga class and actually teaching. I have this hurdle I'm trying to get over and I'm forcing myself through it this fall (apprenticeship!). So… that's MY version of jumping out of a plane… I'm where you are after all your training and practice, about to do my last jump – real-live in-class teaching. YIKES. :)

  • http://becky-johns.com Becky Johns

    Sydney, I love this. It's great that you recognize the many facets of your personality and you're able to make a conscious decision about the person you want to be. At the end of the day, whatever you do, whoever you choose to be and whatever goals you decide to chase, just make sure your life is on purpose.

    You're smart and you know how to manage your personality depending on the situation. It's totally okay to do that. If we were exactly the same in every situation, we wouldn't be very successful. Props for knowing the difference, and rocking hard at managing it.

  • http://biggoalhunting.com/ Mike Roberts

    I dig that about you, all the different versions. They are so strong because you give yourself so fully and intensely to each new version. It reminds me that it doesn't matter what you do, skydiving, pr, cheerleading… whatever. All that matters is that you give yourself fully to it.

  • http://twitter.com/mmbizon mmbizon

    Awesome post, Sydney! You explained the different-versions-of-yourself idea so well! I think we all experience this need for different roles to some extent. Whether it's a breakup, graduation or any other major life change looming over you, it's important to roll with the punches and learn what you can from those situations. I'm glad to hear you have people around you to provide some perspective. I feel like in these tumultuous times you really find out who your friends are.