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Fearless. By any normal definition: without fear. Unafraid. According to urbandictionary.com: Strong willed. Heart of gold. Beautiful inside and out. Able to push through the storms of a shattered heart, broken spirit and tattered body emerging twice as graceful and independent than before.
That’s exactly what Chris was.
One year ago today, I got word that my dear childhood friend, Chris, was in a tragic snowboarding accident, in the hospital, on life support and had passed away.
He was fearless.
Chris was fearless from the moment we met in elementary school. Simple fearlessness – he wore UMBRO’s in the snow. He wore soccer shorts no matter the temperature. Every. Single. Day. He was my sister’s guardian on the bus and as we got older, he taught her the difference between compliments and pickup lines. He was the class clown – never afraid to put himself out there for the world to laugh with.
He was fearless.
Chris did the worm across the stage at our high school graduation. We were surprised, yes, but not really. That was typical Chris fashion. Do what you want, when you want to do it, and not worry about who may or may not be judging. But he wasn’t reckless. He wouldn’t hurt a fly.
He was fearless.
“Dear Father,
This flag was flown over the headquarters of the Multi-National Corps-Iraq in honor of you and Rockhurst University. I deployed as a civilian in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom and the Global War on Terrorism. It was a great experience, and I will remember it dearly.
I realize that this would not have been possible without the education and core values I developed as a student of Rockhurst. I thank you for your leadership and for being a great role model to myself and the rest of the Rockhurst community.
Sincerely,
Chris Quante ’07″
Chris sent back a flag to his alma mater, Rockhurst University, after he returned from a tour in Iraq.
He was fearless.
I realize, today, a year later, that I’ve tried to embrace a lot of what Chris stood for. He passed away shortly before I left for SXSW last year. I think a lot of my fearlessness in Austin came from losing Chris. A lot of it can be chalked up to timing, good luck, being prepared – but when it comes right down to it, I think I may have had a special someone watching over me, telling me it was okay to go grab Aaron for an interview in the middle of a party.
I think maybe, his fearlessness was passed on to me when I decided to pack up everything in my car and move to Chicago. On the hope that I would get hired out of my internship.
I know his fearlessness is passed on to me every time I do something that is outside of my comfort zone. And every time I tell someone I love them – because you never know when you won’t have the opportunity to say that again.
I got the reminder on my phone this morning at midnight that today was the one year anniversary. I was half asleep, battling food poisoning and ultimately annoyed that my calendar alert went off. When I rolled over to see the alert – I paused. I thought about everything that made Chris who he was, and everything that I wish more people would aspire to be.
Chris was fearless. I hope I can continue to channel that as I make my way through this life, because I know I sure as shit don’t want to come down to my final days with regrets, with any what-ifs, with any semblance of not pursuing something that may have been a little bit scary.
So here’s to Chris. To going after what you want, and not turning around to see who thinks you’re crazy. To having confidence in those iffy decisions, because, after all, fearing life isn’t going to get you anywhere.
Keep on keepin' on up there.
Who is fearless in your life? What does being fearless mean to you?