image

Being Homesick: Unfiltered.

February 3rd, 2010 | 8 comments | Unfiltered

After seven days of being totally disconnected from the world and taking some serious self-reflection “where do I go now” time to myself in Labadee, Haiti as well as Jamaica, Grand Cayman, Cozumel and other parts of the ocean, I know this much:

I have figured out my homesickness cycle.

It’s safe to say that anything I worry about in the first 12-72 hours (depending on the trip that I’m returning from) is probably fueled by me wishing I was still in Florida. So take a lot of that with a grain of salt.

But I can’t help but wonder, where is the line between being homesick and genuinely feeling drawn to Florida? How much of it is me wishing for a simpler life compared to my craziness that is life in Chicago – and how much of it is a real, true need to get back down there for reasons beyond me craving sunshine and warmer temperatures?

The cycle, at least the past two times, has gone as such:

Visit Florida, come back to Chicago, start desperately searching for job that will be anything remotely close to what I’m doing at Weber now. I never find anything. Ever. Everything I always see is me settling for less than what I’ve decided I want for my career right now because I miss the sunshine and my family. So I look and look and find nothing. Then I go in to work the next day and realize that this is where I’m supposed to be. And everything is fine. Beyond my parents, there are a handful of people that see this cycle happen. I’ve now got a hold on what’s going on.

One of my friends who moved to Vegas a few years ago says he has the same gut-check reaction EVERY SINGLE TIME he flies out of Orlando International. Like, it wouldn’t be that bad if he missed his flight. We’ve both had solid jobs there that paid the bills and then some, and we both left Florida to pursue bigger (and seemingly better) dreams. So I know I’m not alone in this feeling.

When it comes right down to it, this is how it is: I’m in a long-distance relationship with my family. And we’ve got it down. We talk every day, usually. We try to Skype on the weekends and we email frequently. I get down here when I can, and as long as we have the next trip planned before I leave, everything is fantastic. If not, we’re all emotional wrecks.

And I can confirm it this time too: I come back, I get homesick, I go to work and everything is peachy again. At least I’ve identified what is actually going on, instead of hopping on the first plane home and calling it quits.

Good things come to those who wait. I reckon this applies to your career too, in a sense. Maybe not like sitting around expecting greatness, but not settling for the “perfect for now” opportunity when you could have the truly perfect opportunity waiting around the corner.

Are you a transplant from somewhere else? Do you get homesick? If so, how do you deal with it?

Pin it

Tags:

  • http://twitter.com/lisarowen Lisa Owen

    As hard as it is when you leave, I love our long distance relationship. Amazing how much more connected we stay with all the means of communication we have at our fingertips.

    This 28 day thing is a blasty blast of awesomesauce and can you believe I went to bed without even glancing at #kubball? Had to sleep!

  • megmroberts

    Sydney–

    I completely feel you on this one. Every time I hug my mom goodbye in the Jacksonville airport, I cry for hours. The pangs of homesickness tug at me the entire trek back. It's much worse when I'm leaving without another trip home planned, like I did when I left after Christmas. Like you, I return to D.C. and spend days searching for similar opportunities back home in Florida.

    But, after a couple days, as I settle back into my life in D.C., I realize how lucky I am to be here. The opportunities and experiences we're gaining now are AMAZING. We'll always remember how after college, we left our comfort zone to try something new.

    To cope with the homesickness, I tell myself: “Nothing is permanent, so enjoy it now.” It's become sort of my mantra. Everything can change in the blink of an eye, for better or for worse – might as well take each day as it comes. Home, after all, is only a short plane ride away.

    Oh, and I also set aside $50 each paycheck that I put in a “travel fund.” I decide against eating/going out 2-3 times a week so I don't miss the cash. Then, when I have enough money, I buy a plane ticket home. That definitely helps :)

    If you ever want to vent about being homesick, you know how to reach me…!

    Meg

  • kimberleymosher

    Hey Sydney,
    I completely identify with that gut-check feeling – I've lived away from my family for over 5 years at a time, but recently moved to a job I love that (as a bonus) got me closer in distance to my family than ever before.

    My theory on the feeling we get is that we work hard, we plan, we move forward. And whenever we do move forward, things aren't the same, things aren't as comfortable as we remember them to be, and we pine a bit for something that we used to know/feel. Even though I'm now closer to family, I think back to my previous location and remember the lovely feeling of the big city and friendships I had. (And I can tell you know, there were lots of not so great things about living in a big city… I tend to “forget” those parts though!)

    Keep moving forward because even as you are homesick now by being far away, you have not become familiar enough to feel homey enough in your present location. I'd bet $10 that if and when you change jobs/location in one or two years time, you'll look back to now and remember how “comfortable” your current “place” is.

    Cheers!
    Kim

  • http://www.twitter.com/trumpedup Brennan Stephenson

    I know the feeling oh so well. I think I can say that I feel it on two levels. Home is in St. Louis, where I grew up and lived the majority of my life. Family, friends, great community- it's all there. Then there's *home* (Orlando), where I lived for a short time, but calls my name like the continuous sound of the sirens on the island of Faiakes. It's the home that I think of anytime someone drops the oh-so-true cliche that “home is where the heart is.” I can be at home, and still miss *home*, and yearn for it every hour of every day.

    Everyone's got that story. But I have to add another level to it. While I have two AMAZING cities fighting for my attention, my reality doesn't include living in either one of them. Bowling Green, KY- the home of Western Kentucky University, the National Corvette Museum (and assembly plant), and the Fruit of the Loom HQ. Then, besides me and my job, not much else.

    I have my aspirations to be back where I belong (or just where I belong, no 'back' needed), but for now, Bowling Green is a stepping stone that has taught me how to handle seclusion and boredom, gave me many friends that I may or may not keep up with for the rest of my life (but have definitely shown me that meaningful relationships can come about from any situation), and if nothing else, has provided me with a solid job that I've learned a great deal from and can use to catapult myself into a future where homesickness may not be as much of an issue.

    I'm rambling a bit, but what I'm trying to say in more words than necessary is that Meg is dead on: “Nothing is permanent, so enjoy it now.”

    I jump in the car and cruise to the Lou; I hook up with Southwest and jet to O-town, and travel across the country to keep my sanity and see some AMAZING people, but those are just the compliments to my life. Finding what's around me and enjoying it every moment of the way is what I focus my attention on, and from all I've seen, it sounds like you're doing a good job of it too. With the ability to make the best of any situation, I have to wonder what homesickness really is.

    I would venture to say that home is just anywhere you've spent enough time to consider yourself a resident (at some point in time). And homesickness is just wanting to be at home more than where you're currently at (Obvious, I know, but it still needed to be said). Given that- Have I been homesick for St. Louis? Of course. Orlando? That's a given. Bowling Green? I hate to admit it, but you bet your buttons I have.

    Enjoy Chicago while you can. One day, you may wish you didn't get out as quick.

  • http://www.smallhandsbigideas.blogspot.com Grace Boyle

    I feel like I have always been a transplant since the moment I left “home” in Iowa, after high school. I think I might always be…however, “home” is an interesting topic.

    What does home mean to you? Is it because you lived in the house for 5-10 years, you grew up in a place, what if it is wherever your parents/relatives reside? I think home changes for a lot of people and maybe it's the comfort of something else. Iowa is familiar to me, but none of my friends are there anymore (except for holidays/breaks), my family is and the house I grew up in, but I miss Burlington, Vermont where some of my best friends are and the “family” I created in college too. I also feel AT HOME in Colorado, a place that I have now made my home. Maybe I have many homes…so how can I be homesick?

    Am I rambling or does that make sense? :) Either way, thanks for invoking those thoughts!

  • http://www.twitter.com/trumpedup Brennan Stephenson

    I think this is what I was trying to say too… In short, 'home' is somewhat subjective, and homesickness is missing any place you define into that subjective category. In my opinion, you can have many homes, as long as they all hold a place in your heart.

  • http://doniree.com doniree

    I haven't identified a cycle yet, because I don't think I've had the chance to. I've been gone from my Minnesota home for about a month, and have had a few moments where I desperately miss my folks, my sister, my friends. And then I get up the next day and I thank my stars for the amazing blessings of people and opportunities I'm finding here in Colorado, and I know it's possible to make this a home too. I don't know what it'll feel like to return home and then come back here. That first trip is in a few weeks… I'll get back to you on that :) it's nice to know what to sort of expect though, so thank you :)

  • http://www.sheemasiddiqi.com Sheema Siddiqi

    I'm originally from Delaware but live in London at the moment. I get homesick ALL THE TIME, but luckily I have American friends here that can help me get through it. I also have that same gut wrenching feeling whenever I leave the US and come back to the UK…it settles down after a few days. But the homesickness is growing stronger, and I figure I can deal with it at the time being, but will definitely come back to the US in the future.