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Comfort zone, schmomfort zone.

October 15th, 2009 | 12 comments | Unfiltered

I feel like there’s a lot of pressure for me to produce some pretty kickass content for the new Unfiltered thing I’ve got going here. Fortunately, I don’t cry when I’m working under pressure. Okay maybe sometimes, but not in this case.

I’ve decided that I’m going try to do something scary every day and write about it. Now, what is scary to me and what is scary to you may be completely different things, so take the whole “scary” thing with a grain of salt.

So while I have this fantastic idea of doing something that gets me out of my comfort zone every day, I first have to decide what I’m afraid of. This is going to be one big learning lesson about myself, and guess what? You get to be here for it.

What scares me? (This isn’t a complete list, FYI) What is on the list that I could feasibly challenge myself with every day?

  1. Drowning. Okay so I can’t go jump into Lake Michigan and go for a swim, unless there’s a hot paramedic waiting for me with a blanket and oxygen mask when I decide I’m over the whole potential-hypothermia thing. I’ll leave this one off to the side. Unless you’re the hot paramedic. And if that’s the case – why are you reading my blog and not trying to find me IRL so we can arrange for you to save my life?
  2. Failing at work. Since I’ve decided that work is my “life” right now (okay not in the sense like I don’t have a life outside of work – so take that with a grain of salt), if I fail at work, essentially I’m failing at life. I’m terrified that I’m going to screw up royally. I know at my level I don’t deal with enough life-or-death stuff that I could screw anything up for real. But the thought that maybe I could petrifies me. I’m not afraid to take on new tasks, in fact, I seek them out. I guess there’s not a lot I could do on this one – it’ll probably ease up as I get more comfortable in my role.
  3. Dying alone. I see how happy my parents are and I definitely want that. But then I get my career-woman face on and I don’t want to be held back. And then I see happy couples and I puke in my mouth a little bit. I guess it’s just been so long that I’ve allowed myself to feel like that about anyone that I am slightly nauseous when I see it. But really, where do you find the balance between career-driven and being okay with settling down? Fortunately I’m 24 and have pleeeeenty of time to ponder that.
  4. Talking to strangers if I’m not in a business or networking setting. I can run up to anyone at a networking event or at work and strike up a conversation. Male or female, older or younger, that doesn’t scare me. It’s in places like, the grocery store, or say, a bar, where people are half-way expected to be social, (and/or meet the loves of their lives? OMG THE PRESSURE) that I’ll clam up. Unless I’m at a bar for a networking event, then I’m fine. But if it’s just me and the gals, I have a hard time just going up to a guy and chatting him up. Funny, considering my whole view on dating. Which is another post in itself.

What kind of stuff is scary for you? Are you comfortable enough with yourself to try something scary every day?

  • http://samanthamccain.wordpress.com/ Samantha

    Really great post idea. Good luck with stepping outside of the comfort zone – it makes life a lot more exciting, I am sure.

    This is lame, but I’ll tell it anyways.

    I am scared of talking on the phone with people I don’t know. I cringe each and every time I am supposed to call someone while at work [both jobs]. I fear I will stumble all over my words and that the person on the other end will think I am a dork. Even worse is when they have voice mail and I am supposed to leave a message. THEN if I stumble and sound like a dork – they can replay it! I’m working on it though.
    .-= Samantha´s last blog ..Rattling Reality of Graduate School =-.

  • http://samanthamccain.wordpress.com Samantha

    Really great post idea. Good luck with stepping outside of the comfort zone – it makes life a lot more exciting, I am sure.

    This is lame, but I’ll tell it anyways.

    I am scared of talking on the phone with people I don’t know. I cringe each and every time I am supposed to call someone while at work [both jobs]. I fear I will stumble all over my words and that the person on the other end will think I am a dork. Even worse is when they have voice mail and I am supposed to leave a message. THEN if I stumble and sound like a dork – they can replay it! I’m working on it though.
    .-= Samantha´s last blog ..Rattling Reality of Graduate School =-.

  • http://lifeiscruising.com/ Lisa

    Syd, love the post. Even us old folks have to step out of our comfort zone and do scary stuff… I can relate to Samantha’s comment about calling someone for business for the first time. Trying to contact a physician on his cell phone and leave a message. Major tongue tie! Have to get the “why” in real quick and remember to say phone number to call back slowly. Puts me in a deep sweat every time.

  • http://lifeiscruising.com Lisa

    Syd, love the post. Even us old folks have to step out of our comfort zone and do scary stuff… I can relate to Samantha’s comment about calling someone for business for the first time. Trying to contact a physician on his cell phone and leave a message. Major tongue tie! Have to get the “why” in real quick and remember to say phone number to call back slowly. Puts me in a deep sweat every time.

  • Vanessa

    This is one of the first posts I read from you and I’m pretty hooked. I’m scared of failing at work as well. Marketing is my passion and being only 2 years out of college I really want to make an impression and take this career as far as I can. I just have to come to terms with that I am not an expert yet and learn from my failures.

  • Vanessa

    This is one of the first posts I read from you and I’m pretty hooked. I’m scared of failing at work as well. Marketing is my passion and being only 2 years out of college I really want to make an impression and take this career as far as I can. I just have to come to terms with that I am not an expert yet and learn from my failures.

  • http://www.alwaysjacked.com/ Alan

    I think most fears can be summed up as, “I’m afraid to make an ass of myself.”

    Mine can fall in that camp. Fear of no one liking my writing, so this novel I’m scribbling is nothing but a waste of time. Fear of failure. Fear of being a bad dad, so when Jack goes nuts when he’s older, people will point at me and cluck, “Really screwed that up, didn’t he?”

    Thing is, being willing to make an ass of yourself is when the magic happens. Because you no longer care about being judged. And you can just totally be you.
    .-= Alan´s last blog ..That Blue Twitter Bird Works Blue, Too. =-.

  • http://www.alwaysjacked.com Alan

    I think most fears can be summed up as, “I’m afraid to make an ass of myself.”

    Mine can fall in that camp. Fear of no one liking my writing, so this novel I’m scribbling is nothing but a waste of time. Fear of failure. Fear of being a bad dad, so when Jack goes nuts when he’s older, people will point at me and cluck, “Really screwed that up, didn’t he?”

    Thing is, being willing to make an ass of yourself is when the magic happens. Because you no longer care about being judged. And you can just totally be you.
    .-= Alan´s last blog ..That Blue Twitter Bird Works Blue, Too. =-.

  • http://patrickrelations.wordpress.com/ Patrick

    great postttt. my biggest fear. not succeeding. its broad but i know what success is for me. it seems as though i don’t know if i’m doing things the right /wrong way to get to where i want to be in my life- as soon as i can.
    .-= Patrick´s last blog ..New Website! =-.

  • http://patrickrelations.wordpress.com Patrick

    great postttt. my biggest fear. not succeeding. its broad but i know what success is for me. it seems as though i don’t know if i’m doing things the right /wrong way to get to where i want to be in my life- as soon as i can.
    .-= Patrick´s last blog ..New Website! =-.

  • A big fan

    Funny how things change as we go along but yet we all share those same things in one way or another.

    When we’re very little we might be afraid to cross the street but we learn to look both ways then bravely continue. We get a bit older and we find ourselves thinking about dating. Initially the dreamy part of it all is exciting but the actual act of holding another’s hand in that way can be terrifying. We leave the structure of formal education where good results are measured by a high score on a test and enter the workplace to find that education may have gotten us here but this is a whole different ballgame. I think it’s about that time when fear can either get the best of us or propel us into new people, more than the sum of our experiences thus far.

    Some may be overcome by that fear and not be able to take the steps out of that comfort zone you speak of. You know people like that. They’ll take the easy road, the acceptable position, their place in the herd. They may lead a happy life, be quite content …and never know what they might have missed.

    I think there is often a subtle difference between fear and excitment and one often works off the other, giving us the willingness and ability to to make an ass of ourselves as Alan notes or experience the excitement of life Samantha knows.

    When I think of what I fear it’s not failing at work, I’ve done that just a shade fewer times than I’ve succeeded. It’s not scary movies, the unknown or things that go bump in the night. It’s much more basic than that but more terrifying than anything I can think of.

    You mentioned dying alone.

    I don’t think we have to be married to make it all work but sharing our lives with someone else can make all the difference in the world. While so many things will change as we work our way through life, having someone along for your ride and you for theirs makes all the difference.

    When we were very little we might have been afraid to cross the street. Now we don’t think twice about it. We got over holding hands as we explored relationships and moved along to the highs and lows that those things afford us. In business we learn that the only thing that really matters is people.

    So then we find that hand we’ve held all along the way the only thing we fear losing. That’s my scary.

  • A big fan

    Funny how things change as we go along but yet we all share those same things in one way or another.

    When we’re very little we might be afraid to cross the street but we learn to look both ways then bravely continue. We get a bit older and we find ourselves thinking about dating. Initially the dreamy part of it all is exciting but the actual act of holding another’s hand in that way can be terrifying. We leave the structure of formal education where good results are measured by a high score on a test and enter the workplace to find that education may have gotten us here but this is a whole different ballgame. I think it’s about that time when fear can either get the best of us or propel us into new people, more than the sum of our experiences thus far.

    Some may be overcome by that fear and not be able to take the steps out of that comfort zone you speak of. You know people like that. They’ll take the easy road, the acceptable position, their place in the herd. They may lead a happy life, be quite content …and never know what they might have missed.

    I think there is often a subtle difference between fear and excitment and one often works off the other, giving us the willingness and ability to to make an ass of ourselves as Alan notes or experience the excitement of life Samantha knows.

    When I think of what I fear it’s not failing at work, I’ve done that just a shade fewer times than I’ve succeeded. It’s not scary movies, the unknown or things that go bump in the night. It’s much more basic than that but more terrifying than anything I can think of.

    You mentioned dying alone.

    I don’t think we have to be married to make it all work but sharing our lives with someone else can make all the difference in the world. While so many things will change as we work our way through life, having someone along for your ride and you for theirs makes all the difference.

    When we were very little we might have been afraid to cross the street. Now we don’t think twice about it. We got over holding hands as we explored relationships and moved along to the highs and lows that those things afford us. In business we learn that the only thing that really matters is people.

    So then we find that hand we’ve held all along the way the only thing we fear losing. That’s my scary.